i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
