What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize