are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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