Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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