She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize