Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
