Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
