Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
