I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i believe in u and ur pee
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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