I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
