i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
