I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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