I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
