For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
