awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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