So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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