So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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