You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm at about main and main street
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
