I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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