fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
he thought i was a dude.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
