I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
