just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
i out mim tonsoeep
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
