What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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