so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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