apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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