did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize