They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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