no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize
