Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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