kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My life is pants optional.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
