I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
