i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
