i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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