very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
