it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Drake has all the answers
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
