I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
there is puke in my bra ... again
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
