I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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