We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
