I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
