what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
