just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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