i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
