Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Randomize
