You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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