low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
