At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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