Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
