I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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