Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
