If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
