I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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