Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
