I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
