What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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