Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
