2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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