YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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