I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
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