I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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