Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Randomize
