He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
