Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
