don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
