What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
