He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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