My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
